YOU ARE HERE - In class reaction

In class questions that were answered for You Are Here.
1. What is the meaning of life (your answer - not a book answer)?
2. What things from your life are too important to sell for any price?
3. Should we divulge everything personal regarding our histories to those people around us?
4. How does the reality TV generation affect who we are?
5. How does the flat world of communications affect who we are and what we are willing to reveal about ourselves?
6. What is "bestand" and how does Palahniuk express its meaning within the confines of his essay?

If you weren't in class, answer these for Thursday.

SAMPLE HAPPY HOBBY / PLACE PAPER

Here is a sample essay for you to peruse.

The real paper would be double spaced.

The title would be centered.

Note how it explains rather than tells stories.

Note also how it proves its point, flows logically, transitions, uses solid grammar, and doesn't repeat itself or ramble about things that don't need to be there.

++++++++

Student
Teacher
English Composition
August 26, 1971
Traveling in the Great Outdoors for Photographic Glory
For many people, hobbies are about accumulating things, and in this, I am no different. Nevertheless, the things that I like to accumulate aren’t able to be brought back to my house and sat on a shelf in the same way that antiques and collectibles are. Instead, my hobby of going to unique and beautiful spots for the purpose of accumulating pictures is my way of “perfectly” collecting the images of canyon formations, cascading waterfalls, vast forests, and endless fields in a way that will ensure that they are forever immortalized for myself and others to see in that pristine state.
In my life, photography is not just the action of having a camera and taking a picture. Sure, different cameras have different abilities, and with these abilities, it might make it possible to capture the flight of a bird or to expose the details of a faraway bear as he looks back at me. Nevertheless, to me, photography is an expression of creativity and seeing things in my own unique way. My knowing how to see colors, shapes, and angles is what makes these pictures stand out. For this, knowing that I have to get out and take a myriad of different shots in different locales is not just practice, but it is also an excuse to continue to have more opportunities to do things that I love. Whether I go to the same place ten times or if I go to a new and exotic location, I am constantly trying to find ways to experiment and take that elusive picture that I can truly define as perfect. This isn’t repetitive practice; rather, it is an expression of my motivation to be the best photographer that I can be.
Outdoor photography is also exciting to me because it allows me to daydream of possible trips that I might one day take. Whether I am reading National Geographic Adventure or surfing the World Wide Web and partaking in the cyber grandeur of the Pacific Northwest, the Colorado Plateau, the New England forests, or the Rocky Mountains, I am constantly immersing myself in the perfection of other people’s photography. In this, I am not only fantasizing of places that I hope to see, but I am getting ready to mimic or improve upon the digital relics of journeys that I would like to follow in the footsteps of. In this, staring at the new issue of Backpacker Magazine isn’t that different than a small child going through the Christmas wish books.
When I get to these places that I spent months dreaming about, I find myself exhilarated in the presence of extreme natural beauty. I am also visually hyperaware of everything that could possibly be around the corner. All the while, my camera is on alert as I get ready to “hunt” for the subjects that will stand out as the treasures I return home with. Be it the surprising waterfall that appears out of nowhere or the enormous elk on the side of the road, I can bring out the magic of any moment. For this artistic success, I am truly in my element while I am capturing these instances.
Taking the pictures is only one part of this hobby. The other part is sharing the pictures when I return home. If I was to keep all of my photography to myself, it would be very selfish. Granted, there is a feeling inside of me that likes to be alone when I am in nature, but to know that I have inspired other people to see the same spectacular images that I did makes this hobby all the more special. On a much larger scale than just showing people who know me these images at my house, I can also share them with the world on my Internet site. This allows me to brag about what I have seen and done. That said, when I get compliments, I am a truly happy person.
In all of this, it is clear to see that photography is an outlook for a variety of my interests. Be they in the cathedrals of nature, the pages of a book or magazine, or even in the corners of cyberspace, these outlets for the expression of who I am make me truly happy as a person. As long as I can continue to venture into these places and bring a little big of the magic back, I will always know that I have a hobby that makes me truly happy.

ESSAY WRITING OVERVIEW FOR INCLASS PEER REVIEW PREPAREDNESS!!

If you haven't brought a flash drive for the important files (MLA powerpoint and other stuff), you really want to do that for Tuesday.

Here is a site to learn how not to make common errors in the English language.

Further citations link from my website (only for paper 2+3).

Further MLA directions link from my website (only for paper 2).

What will we look for?

We're trying to figure out if you have a good paper or not.

Essentially, there are 4 things that I look for:
Transition / Flow
Grammar
Organization
Do you prove your point (thesis)?

If you don't have those things, you won't do well. You most likely won't pass the paper and will have to redo it.

Yes, there is a redo on this paper, but if you don't use spell and grammar check on Word, I will LITERALLY STOP correcting your essay. If I find any word that does not exist in the English language or if I find that there are OBVIOUS errors that should have been picked up by a grammatical check (but were not corrected), I MAY CHOOSE to stop correcting your paper. If this is the case, you will be on your own for suggestions when it comes to a redo paper.

Also, please note that I don't give help on papers that I've already corrected.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL with outside assistance. You have had plagiarism explained to you. I don't play games with plagiarism. Also, you have to write your final exam on your own. Students who were passing the class have failed the final because they could not meet its pass or fail requirements (as mandated by the division). This happens more often than not because students thought that they were getting ahead when in reality someone else was doing their work.

With that, please note that I give personal help to students so that they see what errors that they are making IN THE HOPES THAT THEY learn how to correct these things on an individual basis. Not everyone who comes for help gets A grades. Not everyone who comes for help passes this class. You don't get extra credit because you come. You get individualized help to assure that you can do what you have to do in order to succeed in college and in life. It's up to you to make this help work.

Most likely, if you come, we will start with reading your paper out loud so that you can hear if your paper makes sense. Just as most first paragraphs sounded awkward and flat when read in class, many papers sound equally jumbled when they are read out loud.

In the effort of time, you should note that I don't correct handwritten papers. This is because these papers can be very different in how they are typed out, and in my knowledge, it is best to look at a paper that is in its final stages as opposed to one that still has to be interpreted while it is typed out (however, you can come for direction in how to start out, but don't expect me to take over the writing of your paper). In the past, students who were still typing papers at Barnes and Nobles were not happy because they did not get their papers thoroughly corrected.

Clearly understand, I'm not here to hand you a grade. If you're not working for this, then you're really not doing your share of the work.

Thus, here are some corrections for you to see if you need to make them.

1. Is your paper typed in 12 point type, Times New Roman lettering, and is it double spaced from the top to the bottom? See the Blair Handbook for a sample essay (page 412).
2. While you DO NOT HAVE TO have a header, if you do, it must be in the header. If it is not, then you already have a formatting error. This is how you set up the first page. The first page is not a title page. I don't require that since it is optional and because too many trees have already died for this class.
3. Line 1 of the paper begins with your name. This is followed by my name, the class, and the date. These must be written in this order.
4. Double spacing begins after your name. If you leave those 4 things single spaced, you are not following the directions of the Blair Handbook in the MLA research section. If you don't know how to double space, please ask. This is not hitting enter at the end of each line as if you were using a typewriter.
5. The next line down is a title that is centered. It does not have to be the cleverest thing, but it has to be there. All the same, it should be something more exciting than "a hobby that makes me happy."
6. Remember the rules of the first paragraph. Your thesis is the last sentence. There are 2-3 sentences before it. There are no facts. The whole thing flows through.
7. Remember the rules of the last paragraph. This begins with the understood "It is clear to see that." You do not have to write this out, but technically, you can. There are 3-4 sentences within it. There are no facts or new ideas. There is no repetition. It is a generalized summary of everything that you have stated. The whole thing flows through to a conclusive ending.
8. There can be no use of the word "I." (except in paper 1). There can't be any use of the word you (in any paper). If you use the words we, our, and us, they must clearly refer to you and the people who are with you at this place. If they don't, you will lose points.
9. THAT SAID, this paper is an explanation of why this place makes you happy. It it not about a trip there in a story telling fashion. It does concern your opinion. It is not researched. It is how you see this place as wonderful and how you prove it.
10. There is NO Works Cited Page on this assignment as it is not researched. There are no quotes from other people, so you will only have 0 citations.
11. These papers are straight forward. I don't want to see any question marks or exclamation points.
12. If your paper is not 2.5 pages, you will lose length points and effort points. If your paper stops short, you can lose effort points as well. While you will only have to give 2.5 pages of reasons for why you feel this, you have to detail them thoroughly.
13. If you don't convince me that you are passionate about this topic, then you will not do as well as someone who does. Remember that the thesis of this paper is to tell me about a place that makes you happy in this paper. It doesn't matter if I agree that it's a great place. All that matters is that you write about why it is.
14. Your thesis promised me something. Did you deliver through with it or did you get lost along the way?
15. See Issues in Your Paper for other rules.
16. See The Right Word for other frequently messed up words.
17. Please e-mail me with questions you might have. All the same, don't e-mail your paper for proofreading. If you can't make it in person, I won't correct your paper so that you can just change errors and GET a grade. That's not learning - that's being spoonfed. I don't do that.
18. Please hand in all of the pre-writings with the essay. If you don't hand these in with the essay, then they don't come in. I don't make accomodations for people writing pre-writings as after the fact points (See below). Dresser Drawer Method, Outline, Notes, Typed Rough Draft.
19. This may sound like a lot, but you're here to learn to write the best essay possible. Knowing how to edit your paper will help you do this.

The Final Essay is graded based on the following categories to the corresponding percentages:

Length (10)
Format (10)
Effort (10)
Sentence Sense (30)
Transition Cohesion (20)
Grammar (20)
Pre-writing (50 points on top of the 200 you already had on top).

COMPLETE LIST of Links for COM050's In Class Project

Many of these have additional hyperlinks that should be accessed and read if you are going to do the 2nd and 3rd papers on these topics.

When you get to the later parts of the papers (the 2nd and 3rd essays), you can go here for a variety of articles to help you with SOME issues in SOME papers.

As you will find, most of this is the reactions of the US and the world to 9/11. It is based in objective fact and the emotions of those present - not conspiracy theory, which goes against the grain of writing an objective research paper (your ultimate goal in a 3 step process to prepare you for COM121). Nevertheless, at the end of this entry, I have a few articles that you can read for your own personal interest detailing the problems with conspiracy theory.

You need to write a FULL 1-PAGE JOURNAL on 1 of the articles beneath the +++++ for Thursday. You also need to print out the article. If you want to work ahead, you can do the same thing for BOTH of the articles directly below these words for next Tuesday (and 2 other articles as well). At this stage, these do not have to be typed. However, your articles will be printed out. You pay a technology fee to the school. You have access to computers to do this.

September 11th by the Numbers (NY MAG)

Casualties of the Wars (Afghanistan and Iraq)

+++++

Terrorized by the War on Terror (WASHINGTON POST)

Rudy Giuliani - Person of the Year (TIME)

Growing up Giuliani (NEWSWEEK)

Hutning Bin Laden (PBS)

Exposing the Truth of Abu Ghraib (CBS)

Liquidating Bombers (NEWSWEEK)

Believe Me It's Torture (VANITY FAIR)

FBI Says Guards Killed 14 Iraqis Without Cause (NY TIMES)

Taking Todd Beamer's Call from United 93 Changed My Life (CHRISTIANITY TODAY)

Al Qaeda Chief Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Confesses to Planning Sept. 11, Gitmo Transcript Shows (FOX NEWS)

Three arrested on terrorism charges after buying cell phones (ABC)

Daniel Pearl and the Normalization of Evil (WALL STREET JOURNAL)

Marcus Luttrell on Michael Murphy (FOX - O' Reilly)

Additional choices:

Obama's 2002 Anti-War with Iraq Speech

Before September 11th - the History (TIME)

Lost at Tora Bora (NEW YORK TIMES)

Bush's 16 Words on Iraq and Uranium (FACT CHECK DOT ORG)

Cities Say No to the Patriot Act (WIRED)

The Truth About Jessica (Lynch) (THE GUARDIAN UK)

What Really Happened to Pat Tillman (CBS)

The Shoe Bomber's World (TIME)

Jurors Reject Death Penalty for Moussaoui (WASHINGTON POST)

Padilla Sentenced to 17 Years in Prison (NY TIMES)

Former (GITMO) Prison Guard Tells All (HARPERS)

Ex Detainees Returning to Fight (CNN)

Insurgent Leader Al-Zarqawi Killed in Iraq (WASHINGTON POST)

Hussein Executed With Fear in His Face (CNN)

Kristen Breitweiser's Response to Ann Coulter's (HUFFINGTON POST)

The Lies of Michael Moore (SLATE)

These 2 can only be read for your own interest - can't be done for credit!!
Tinfoil Nation (PAJAMASMEDIA - far right politics)

Stephen Shalom and Michael Albert of ZMAG (far left politics) on the lack of credibility in conspiracy theories as a whole with the 2nd half of the article dedicated to 9/11

Why word choice matters (humor)

Church Notices
They're back!
Those wonderful Church bulletins!
Sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting& Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the backdoor.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

WEATHER ISSUES!!

In case you're curious if you're going to have a day off due to weather...

There is always the website at: Stormcenter.
1) if we have school, I will be there. I am committed to being your teacher, and thus, I will be there to teach you.
2) HOWEVER, I feel confident driving in this stuff. If you don't, then I implore you to consider your safety first. I do care enough (like the Grinch, I actually do have a heart buried somewhere in there) to have wiggle room with my attendance policy in light of snow and ice and rain that is like the stuff sitting out on my front walkway about to meet the shovel.
3) Take care, stay warm, unwind and / or be productive. It's your day. Enjoy it.

(from the Dean of Students)
Given that winter weather is still very possible, would you please remind students that the three easiest ways for them to find out about the status of whether the college is open or closing is:

1. Sign up on the homepage of the website for e2Campus so they can receive a test alert informing them about the status of the College
2. Check the home page of the website
3. Call the Inclement Weather Hotline at 610.607.6293

Final Exam questions.

OK... if you're looking now, I'm actually 1 day early.

The 5 PARAGRAH research question is a choice of A or B or C.

A) What is the first thing that Barack Obama should do when he gets into office?
B) Why should I hire you?
C) How can we make Reading a more beautiful and safe town?

Neither of these NEEDS TO BE written about on the index card. If you're doing A, think about what the most important thing he can legislate towards is. Tell me why, and be done. Stanard 5 paragraph setup. If you're doing B, use this as preparation towards an interview. I have been asked it in the past. If I was interviewing you, it would be the only question I ask at the first interview. If you're doing C, think logically and ask yourself, what would make you and those close to you more likely to come to Reading for fun and business.

For the 7 PARAGRAPH persuasive essays, the topics include:
A) Should we bail out the auto industry?
B) What should we do about the Somali pirates?
C) Should George Bush pardon Ramos and Compean before leaving office?
D) What should the U.S. do with the terrorist detainees at Guantanamo Bay?
E) Should Americans pay tax dollars to help rebuild Gulf Coast cities after hurricanes?
F) What should the U.S. do about the situation regarding ILLEGAL / UNDOCUMENTED immigration (not legal immigration)?
G) What should have happened to Lori Drew over her role in the Myspace suicide case?
H) Considering the case of Stacy Snyer and her "drunken pirate" Myspace picture, should schools and businesses be able to hold Internet behavior against students and employees?
I) Defend the censorship of any cultural medium or defend freedom of speech as an ABSOLUTE value that cannot be censored in any case.
J) After watching Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat, EITHER attack outsourcing as unfair and economy crippling or defend it as a cost-cutting necessity that will strengthen our economy.
K) What should the United States do about Iranian nuclear intentions?
L) Should the United States leverage Pakistan to release suspects to India in the Mumbai tragedy?
M) Is global warming real and potentially devastating or the greatest hoax of all time?

For all of these, use the standard format to back up your answer. You may use a note card with notes. You must use facts. If you're rambling out an opinion, you don't have a solid answer. I'm telling you in advance so that you can make this paper meaningful.

Don't forget, you can fail this class if you don't do this.

While you can bring a notecard, you can't bring an essay. If you bring an essay, I will find you guilty of cheating and fail you for the semester - regardless of your grade.

IN CLASS PEER REVIEW ESSAY 2

Once again, to get full credit for attendance, you must have an essay since we will be doing this assignment with people who were prepared for class.

Checklist for Essay 2
What do you know?
What do you do want to know?
MANY pages of notes or note cards
TYPED rough draft
Outline
Printed out websites
ALSO if you turned in any rough drafts to be corrected, turn those in as well
IS THIS PAPER AN MLA RESEARCH PAPER ON A PRE-APPROVED TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE (NOT A REPORT OR PERSUASIVE ESSAY)?
Next
Underline your thesis
Label each paragraph as to what its main point is
Then look for the following errors:
Is your paper 12 point type
Is it written in Times New Roman
Is the whole paper double spaced
Did you make sure that there are no gullies
Is the paper 3.5+ pages long
Did you make sure that you didn’t change the margins
Is there any bold type
Is there any italic type
Is there use of the words I, YOU, WE, OUR, US, and anything else that implies you are talking conversationally to the reader
Is there any profanity, slang, or abbreviations that aren’t defined?
Mark each citation on the works cited page against what page of the essay that it is on.
List (for -5) each citation that isn’t on the works cited page and each works cited entry that isn’t in the paper.
Compare your works cited page to the one in the book (418-419). Do they look the same?
Compare your citations to the ones in the book (412-417). Do they look the same?
Read out loud for clarity!
Look for obvious grammar errors!
Does your paper prove its point?
Is there organization?
Is there flow?
Do you answer the question on a “college level?”

Also, people are starting to get sick because it is cold, wet, and gray outside. Take care of yourself. Do your work. Get enough sleep. Eat healthy. Sickness now could take out a lot of hard work. Don't let it happen to you. PLEASE. I care, so I mention this.

POVERTY IN READING assignment

If you're interested in the election, check out the O' Reilly Factor on Fox at 8 tonight, Tuesday, and Wednesday for continuing coverage of his interview with Barack Obama. This is Obama's first actual challenge in ideology, so it should definitely be worth viewing.

+++++

Potential problems of an impoverished town
1. Housing available attracts $ (see HGTV)
2. Jobs available attracts workers and a tax base
3. Industry leaving for other places kills jobs
4. Desperation causes crime
5. Schools that no longer educate or enforce standards of learning
6. Lack of discipline enforced in youth to rise up
7. People get complacent on the entitlement system (when McD’s doesn’t pay as much as handouts and it isn’t as grueling as the work, why work)?
8. “If a neighborhood isn’t nice, why work to make it better (why clean trash when someone else will just litter it up)?”
9. “It’s easier to move out than to change a losing situation.”
10. Inflation keeps people stuck in dead end situations.
11. People use credit as a temporary solution and get strangled for long periods of time (potentially forever and ever)
12. Fear of failure.
13. Fear of success.
14. In a Brave New World sense, some people will know their place and demonize the mainstream society’s version of success and choose to not succeed.
15. Single parent households not being able to make enough to pay daycare and to support a family.
16. Language difficulties
17. Political infighting on solutions in government cause inaction, which is much worse than failed actions.
18. Fear of PC special interest groups and getting caught up in legislation.
19. Environmental and pollution issues.
20. Racial conflicts between emerging and defined groups in an area.

You need 3 - your group needs to fill out the Dresser Drawer Method (1 per group) and turn in your brainstorming (1 for each person in the group).

ARON RALSTON ASSIGNMENT

As I said, one of the things that I encourage students to do is to travel and see the world. How many national parks have you been to? How many can you name? You really should check out the US National Park system. There is so much that is out there to see. To sit in your comfy eastern PA houses and not see it... anathema.

We will be doing the Aron Ralston video and in class essay writing experience. As I don't lend out my videos and I don't know any other video store that is cool enough to have this video, YOU WILL NEED TO GO TO THE LIBRARY TO WATCH THE VIDEO TO GET THE POINTS. This is a 50 point assignment that includes notes, typing an 8 paragraph rough draft, and correcting it in class. It does not need to be perfect because it is for peer editing, but it needs to be done - all 8 paragraphs. If you go through all of the motions and give it your college best, you will get all of the points, if not... then...

You can read about his amazing life here and here.
You can read about the video of his life's major changing event here.
I can only completely and totally recommend that you buy the book about his adventure that he wrote after the events in Blue John Canyon.
You can see pictures by the guys at You Can Never Have Too Much Fleece here.
I only wish I was that great of a photographer and had that much time to adventure to really cool places.

This is about all we really have time for...
well, in there, we are going to talk about
First paragraphs
How to write essays well (and poorly).
I'll have sample essays of both varieties.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ARON RALSTON PROJECT (this is in-class)

2+ PAGES OF NOTES

1 8-paragraph essay (should not be perfect SINCE:

we will correct it in class as a peer review assignment.

If you do all of this correctly, then I will give you 50 points.

NOTES
Blue John Canyon – a slot canyon in Canyonlands National Park.
Issues that Aron faced during his 6 day ordeal.
1. Starvation (2 burritos)
2. Dehydration (22oz of water)
3. Decompensatory Shock
4. Trapped feeling
5. Blood loss
6. Weight loss (over 40 pounds)
7. 8 mile hike across exposed desert in excessive heat (the distance from RACC to the other side of Sinking Spring OR back and forth to the Fairgrounds Mall)
8. Hypothermia (cold temperatures at night)
9. Fear of death / thoughts of suicide
10. Lack of sleep
11. Hallucinations
12. Anger at self for making a foolish mistake
13. Worry about how his predicament would affect his family
14. Decomposition gasses poisoning him
15. The decision and actions involved with cutting off his own arm
16. Weakened state

HOW TO BEAT A COM050 FINAL EXAM!!

Step 1: Read the essay. Don't take notes. Just read it.
Step 2: Contemplate the author's intention. You're doing a summary. If you don't know his / her intent, re-read it again without taking notes.
Step 3: When you're done reading, then you re-read it. Then you take notes. You need 4 ways that the author proves his / her point.
Step 4: Create an outline with the points arranged in most important to least important. These are bookended by an intro paragraph that ends in a thesis and a conclusion paragraph that begins with "it is clear to see that" in order to summarize.
Step 5: Write the paper.
Step 6. Rewrite the paper in a clearer frame of mind that comes after you put your head down and zone out.
Step 7: Zone out again and come back in a few minutes to edit the paper one last time.

All of this should take you most of the 2 hours.

Make sure your sentences are short, simple, and to the point.
Don't write everything - just the 4 more important ways that you can prove your thesis of the author's intent.
Make sure your sentences make sense and are done to the best grammatical way possible.

Make sure that you have the fact, the explanation, and the "and so" that this means to proving your whole point.

If you can do this, you should be ok.

Extra Grammar practice - complete and return if you want help!!

Grammar Test 1
YOUR NAME ___________________________________
You can have errors regarding commas / semicolons / capitalization / homonyms / word choice / apostrophes / hyphens / colons / fragments (F) / run on sentences (R) / dangling modifiers (D) or sentences can be correct.
1. Seventeen years ago, I joined the air force.
2. I was really young when I went in so it was a difficult experience for me.
3. Because I had a self-defeating attitude when I joined this branch of military service.
4. When Mr. Glass was caught leaning against a locker during inspection, he was forced by his drill instructor to say “What’s up GQ daddy?”
5. Every time my name was called I was forced to utter these words.
6. It might have bin embarrassing, but it was a lesson that I would never forget.
7. Standing at the locker as the other airmen laughed, a feeling of utter stupidity was ineffectively concealed by Dan.
8. I am a lot different then I was at that time in my life.
9. Over the course of a persons life, he or she has to change.
10. If a person chooses to remain the same, then they will make the same mistakes over and over again.
12. One day, my flight was suppose to donate blood.
12. As a reward for doing this we would be able to drink soda and eat cookies.
13. Unfortunately, the squadron leaders were yelled at for the entire flight not being able to make their beds thus they weren’t allowed to go for this special treat.
14. The reality was that the leaders hadn’t distances themselves from the rest of the group, this situation had to be rectified immediately.
15. For the majority of the day the leaders had to make bed after bed to perfect specifications.
16. Making beds to military specification a task that seems difficult at first was something that we became professional at.
17. On April 13 1990 I stepped onto the bus that would take me to Basic Training.
18. This was located at Lackland Air Force Base, which is located outside of the city of San Antonio Texas.
19. Many things that I tried to do during that time seemed to effect me in a negative way.
20. I could not march good to save my life.
21. The first Sunday night, I was forced to stand on a balcony and think about how bad I marched.
22. For an hour or so, I wondered back and forth on the metal staircase as I pondered the situation that I had gotten myself into.
23. Nevertheless, I eventually got use to some of the things that I had to do to make it to tech school.
24. For instance, we were forced to fold our T-shirts into 6 inch squares.
25. There was a specific method of doing this that involved folding the shirt spraying starch onto it ironing it so that it would stay in place using tweezers to pull the edges even and then starching and ironing it again.
26. This seemed to be the most ridiculous thing at the time but there was a method to the drill instructors’ madness.
27. If a person could pay attention to detail with a mundane task like this he could achieve anything that he set his mind to.
28. Also, when a person is forced to rise to the occasion, he either will do this, or he will fail, in this, it is better to separate those people who can’t do their job properly before they get into a situation where someone else’s life depends on them working well under intense pressure.
29. I can remember one guy who wanted to quite, so he just stopped trying.
30. He got sent back to our group for failing to do a task properly, and with this he decided that it wasn’t worth it to work to complete his training anymore.
31. The instructors decided that they weren’t going to let him give up on himself, so for the next 2 nights, they placed his bed in the drill sergeants’ corridor and would kick his bed repeatedly to keep him awake; eventually, he excepted his destiny in the military.
32. During guard duty people would take out there aggression on each other by scuffing up the toes of other airmen’s boots.
33. If someone did this to you, then a person would have to wake up and shine his boots.
34. If someone messed with your sleep, it was a capitol offense!
35. The lesson in this was that you wanted to be a person who didn’t stand out in to positive or negative a way.
36. There were only a few real requirements for physical training being able to run 2½ miles, being able to do 30 sit ups, and being able to accomplish 30 pushups.
37. Other than this we had to make it through the confidence coarse without messing up on more than 1 water obstacle.
38. Of course, I fell into the water on the rope swing; this event is recorded on a video tape that I still have to this day.
39. Mr. Glass I don’t know if I can do all of this work that is required for the class.
40. Yes you can do the things that you put your mind to.

1-13. List the rules of commas
14. List the semicolon rule
15. List the hyphen rule
16. List the colon rule
17. What are apostrophes used for and how do you use them correctly. If you don’t correctly list this, then you don’t get points.
18. What is the name of the river outside of RACC? Spelling counts.
19. What is the difference between proper and common nouns?
20. What is a comma splice?
For all word listings, make sure you either number or label the groups correctly.
21-27. Name 7 coordinating conjunctions.
28-30. Name 3 articles.
31-35. Name 5 relative pronouns
36-40. List 5 transitional expressions
41-48. Name 8 subordinate conjunctions
49-55. Name 7 Conjunctive adverbs
56-75. List 20 different prepositional phrases that use a different preposition in each.

++++++

THAT’S IT!!!! The final grammar test of this class
YOUR NAME ____________________________________
1. After finishing the class, jubilation will wash over my students.
2. The semester that has been giving you so many headaches since day one.
3. Finally, Spring classes at RACC will be finished, and you can go on vacation.
4. I know that there are only a few days that you will truly be off but you should do your best to enjoy every minute of your time away from teachers, books, and homework.
5. As for me I won’t be going anywhere.
6. This sounds an awful lot like when Bob Dylan warbles “You ain’t goin’ nowhere!”
7. I may sing bad, but I’m not that bad at singing.
8. When I drive to school I have been known to sing along to my car stereo.
9. Right now, Crackers CD entitled Greatest Hits Redux is on heavy rotation in my truck.
10. Yesterday albright college had an awareness of school costs day.
11. It was suppose to educate students as to why their tuition is so high.
12. However it only made many of the students angry.
13. These students were wandering why they had to hear the school complain about costs when the tuition was already so high.
14. For example the cost of water and sewage is $220,000 a year.
15. According to the accounting people at this local berks county college, it costs $44 million to run the school for a year.
16. Compared to the cost of over $26,000 a year, $348 for a 3 credit class is not a bad price to get comparable college credits.
17. This day, a day officially known as tuition ran out day, is something that many students need to see and understand.
18. Whether or not you now what it takes to earn $348, you need to know that the costs of school comes out of someone’s pockets.
19. Taxes are not a bad thing if there used for the right things.
20. Some people try to scam the system nevertheless they eventually get discovered and lose their rights to get financial aid.
21. However, bye this time, they have already taken your tax dollars and used them for whatever it is that they were trying to do.
22. All things considered, the cost of living in Reading Pennsylvania is much higher than any amount of after class “profit” that these scam artists have made.
23. Unfortunately, when enough people fine a way to beat the system, it adds up to a lot of money that is wasted for the community as a whole.
24. Eventually, you will be paying money into the funds that are used to help people get through school and benefit from other Social Programs.
25. Some programs that are very helpful to a student trying to balance family and school without “going under.”
26. The feeling is that if the students are financially helped and become proficient at a skill they can contribute to the economy by putting their tax dollars back into the system.
27. When it comes to American politics, members of the Democratic Party are more likely to want to contribute to financial assistance programs; especially ones that benefit people that are having difficulty making ends meet.
28. More conservative members of the Republican Party feel that they should be able to choose what they spend their money on and thus, they don’t want to feel mandated to a cause that they don’t necessarily believe in.
29. When I think of tax programs that I could support, I think of the military the police department the fire companies the compulsory educational system and anything that has to do with environmental concerns.
30. Environmental concerns range from picking up and disposing trash to the United States national park system.
31. Personally, I don’t feel that profits should take precedence over the future of our natural world.
32. I am by no means a member of the green party, but I do believe that we need wild and unspoiled lands for our enjoyment.
33. Ricketts Glen State Park is by no means unspoiled, but it is supposed to be a place where a person can get away from their cares for a while.
34. If you don’t know that this is my favorite place to visit in America, then you haven’t been conscious all trimester.
35. In the winter a person could snowmobile within the confines of the park.
36. In spring, the same person could go fishing, he could also go hiking.
37. As all of you so clearly know, my greatest passion is taking a ton of pictures of the roaring streams with black and white film.
38. I love to be alone on the trails as the sun rises up above the tree line.
39. If I was truly lucky, I might be able to see a dear dart off into the brush.
40. However, I mostly see squirrels birds and chipmunks running off in front of the thumping sounds of my boots.
41. Granted, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t where boots, but all things considered, they do give my ankles a little more support.
42. You wouldn’t know this if you had heard me wine about how twisted up my foot got from stepping wrong on a rocky pathway.
43. This, however, was the fault of the crampons that I was wearing.
44. My groans and complaints might have sounding like I was in morning, but the truth was that it really did hurt.
45. I know that yous feel sad for me!
46. After all of the horrible grammar tests that you have had to endure, the last thing that you want to do is feel sorry for your teacher not being able to walk properly while hiking through the woods in winter.
47. I am sure that you would rather I kept quite and just taught you how to figure out if this sentence is a dangling modifier or not.
48. Its not.
49. Honest.
50. At least you got too watch the classic movie entitled Gridiron Gang.
51. Watching the Rock, laughter is always something that I am prone to.
52. I use to find it humorous when he did his catch phrases.
53. For example, he might say “The Rock doesn’t care what you think!”
54. Mr. Glass would never be uncaring with regards to what you think all the same he feels that using words like think and believe show uncertainty.
55. “Your job as students is to know or find out,” he has said on many a occasion.
56. The Rock might refer to his adversary as a jibroni, but Mr. Glass would never say any thing negative about you.
57. He respects you as students and people, and even if you don’t pass this class, he still feels that you have value as a person since you had the heart to stick it out until the end.
58. You are probably all ready aware that Mr. Glass loves to use the term “heart.”
59. Because he watches too much ESPN Sportscenter.
60. It is soon getting to be that time when Mr. Glass summons up all of his venom for the Evil Empire.
61. Yes, nothing beats meaningless days in front of the television wishing the over rated Derek Jeter the worst.
62. If I could, I would put him on a raft down the Schulykill River and hope that he doesn’t return until 2018.
63. Even that might be two soon.
64. I don’t know what’s worse the puppy dogs eyes or the way that the announcers swoon over everything that he does.
65. “Oh Derek, you’re so wonderful” Joe Buck Jr. will say “How do you set the stars in the sky?”
66. I prefer the baseball crushing power of Albert Pujols, the clutch hitting of David Ortiz, a slugger known as “Big Papi,” and the desire to beat out any infield grounder that possesses Ichiro Suzuki in his quest to be the next player to hit .400 in a season.
67. And I am definitely looking forward to Daisuke Matsuzaka’s gyroball as it leaves Robinson Cano, Alex Rodriguez, and Jason Giambi looking like fools as they strike out looking!
68. When it comes to sheer love of the game, I definitely prefer David Eckstein’s scrappy presence to the brooding narcissism of Barry Bonds, which is just a chore to deal with.
69. I would like to see Barry Bonds rocketed to the kuiper belt before he gets a chance to break Hank Aaron’s historic homerun record.
70. All this talk about baseball is making me excited for the warm whether of spring!
71. I am currently having a hankering for some rasberry iced tea.
72. Nevertheless, I will stay away from it since I gave up caffiene almost 3 years ago.
73. There was a time that I would drink coca cola like it was going out of style.
74. Know, I prefer to drink ice cold water, Hawaiian Punch, or pink lemonade.
75. I know, these are sophisticated tastes.
76. Then again, the simple things in life give me a sense of inner piece.
77. For example, I can be appeased easy with a couple of Pizza Hut pan pepperoni pizzas and the Pulp Fiction DVD.
78. Samuel L. Jacksons one-liners always make me laugh like a goofball.
79. I’m not ashamed to admit it!
80. You won’t catch me berrying my head in the sand over some of the stupid things that I did as a kid.
81. For example, I once skinned the backs of my ankles when I jumped off the bed while trying to play air guitar to Billy Idol’s White Wedding.
82. My sister will always tell that story to Mom, and then, the 2 of them will laugh at what a goofball I was when I was little.
83. All things considered, I am probably more eccentric then any one that you know.
84. If you aren’t careful, you might loose your mind like your beloved teacher!
85. On March 19, 2007 this class will be over for good.
86. You should reward yourself for all of your hard work.
87. I wood like to start a tip jar just to see if people would donate to the Mr. Glass Is Wonderful Fund.
88. However, since that is unethical I won’t bother.
89. It’s not like I would get alot of money to go on vacation to the desert anyway.
90. I would like to commend you for excepting the challenge to be a great student.
91. You have shown that a winner doesn’t quit, a quitter doesn’t win.
92. A great way to reward yourself is to go to east coast Massage Therapy.
93. Granted, it is $53 to get an appointment, but your body will thank you when the masseuse removes all the stress and strains that your body has built up over the past 3 months.
94. I will be going on principle alone.
95. I won’t be going to the US Capital building in the nation’s capitol over this vacation.
96. I also won’t be going to the country of England on vacation; besides, it is too expensive to get a ticket.
97. What I will be doing is sitting on my lazy but for the better part of a week.
98. The first thing that I will have to due is to finish figuring out your grades by next Thursday.
99. Overtime, that will be a daunting process, but in the end, I will complete the mountains of paperwork that will arise from the last week of school.
100. And so with that, I bid you, “auf wiedersehen.”